Jacob Elordi’s Bath Water
An uncomfortable time for the squeamish
Take a quick stroll down TikTok lane and you are surely to hear Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s 2001 hit “Murder on the Dancefloor,” featuring some person dancing around or making jokes about the recent movie Saltburn. This movie, directed by Emerald Fennell, is everywhere and everyone is talking about it. Naturally, I decided to watch Saltburn and see what the hype was all about.
Well, Saltburn is shocking, to say the least. The movie follows a group of well-heeled Oxford students whom Evelyn Waugh might caustically refer to as “bright young things,” and their scholarship-student friend Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan), as they trapeze through the summer at Felix Catton’s (played by Jacob Elordi) family estate, Saltburn. And watching Saltburn is like watching a movie made by someone who has only ever seen Sophia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette, Luis Buñuel’s The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, and John Waters’ Pink Flamingos. The end result is an insane, borderline unwatchable, but oddly entertaining movie and strangely enjoyable (yes, I understand this is a contradiction; I cannot explain it) despite its many faults. The movie is aesthetically stunning: The people, the homes, the cinematography are all gorgeous. But aesthetics is the only place where this film truly excels. Instead of plot and character development, Fennell and Saltburn place all their energy and efforts toward making the audience uncomfortable.
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Frankly, it is difficult to even remember the plot of Saltburn. Yet, I distinctly remember constantly oscillating from squirming in my seat to nearly crawling outside of my skin because I was so uncomfortable. Keoghan, to his credit, did a great job of making me uncomfortable. Pardon the euphemistic language, but whether Keoghan was slurping up…tainted (blessed?) bath water, disregarding “mother nature” to show off his vampirical side, or utilizing his…endowment to do a little…grave digging, I was covering my eyes and yelling “Please, make it stop!”
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Oddly, this is not the first time I have had this experience lately. Over the course of the last few years, I have noticed a glut of pseudo-horror social commentaries lampooning the rich that are also funny, but also incredibly gross and make a political point that is so obvious that it makes this writer question whether or not the filmmakers think their audience is stupid. In 2022, it was Triangle of Sadness, a movie about a bunch of spoiled rich people on a chartered yacht who all simultaneously begin to projectile vomit and spew literal shit all over the boat for what feels like an eternity. In 2021, we had the HBO show White Lotus, which was not only stressful, but also included several “What the fuck scenes” such as watching the hotel manager both defecating in a suitcase of some rich annoying guy shortly after his backside was…cleaned by another employee (I am having fun with these euphemisms). In 2020, we had Emerald Fennell’s other movie Promising Young Woman, which true to form, includes some bonkers scenes such as a seemingly endless one where Carrie Mulligan is brutally strangled to death after posing as a stripper to get vengeance for a friend who was raped and later committed suicide. I am not going to get into 2023’s Poor Things. Look it up.
This is not to say that there were not uncomfortable movies before. There were. But movies like Lars von Trier’s Antichrist were not framed as funny, borderline light-hearted films that prioritize social commentary that mixes cringeworthy moments with beautiful scenery.1 That began with 2017’s Get Out, which brilliantly mixed social commentary, horror, and comedy. Movies like Saltburn and Triangle of Sadness feel almost overly derivative of Get Out. These movies even follow the same formula as Get Out: Everything is fine, but weird; I think everything is fine, but shit is getting super weird; Okay, maybe we should leave because this is getting too weird; MASSIVE CRISIS; The end.
The end result is Scream with an obvious political bias. If Saltburn did not have as much shock value, it would be derided for being trite. Why? Because it is a trite movie. It is all flash and very little substance. Saltburn, and others in this new genre, are recycling tired themes and unoriginal stories, and masking these obvious flaws with boorish, craven acts that are frankly irresistible. While not great movies, my curiosity will undoubtedly get the better of me and I will watch them, despite my prejudices. Go figure.
For context, Antichrist is easily the most fucked up thing I have ever seen. I mean talk about a shocking movie. In short, Charlotte Gainsbourg is presumably possessed by Satan after her son with Willem DeFoe dies. The movie includes some truly ghastly scenes featuring ejaculating blood, a fox that is ripping its guts out and tells DeFoe “Chaos reigns!” and more! Don’t get me started on Antichrist.